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Story #11 (or Story #10.2)

Well, we’re late again, but here’s the second installment of the Jim and Jym mini-series.  Huzzah!

Sorry.  That’s it.  I mean, it’s pretty late and we’ve got work in the morning.

Peace, y’all,

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2012 in Announcements

 

Story #10, and a Whole New Season!

Hey, kids!  Look at us, actually publishing on time (once again with the “I haven’t gone to bed yet, so it’s still Thursday to me” caveat) for the second time this month!

So, welcome back from summer break!  What’s that you say?  It’s not summer?  Well, it was back in 1994 when this week’s Classic was published.  Which brings us to Classic Story #10 the very week after we published Story #100 in the present chronology.  I’m sure that must mean something, cosmically speaking.  But I leave that to the egg-heads among you.  I got nothin’.

Anyway, go on and check out Story #10, Jim and Jym and the Treasure of the Big Mountain!

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Announcements

 

Texas Timmy and the Quid Pro Quo (Story #100!)

Whoa!  Check us out!  It’s the 100th Story of the Week!  This means something.  Oh, well, moving on.

I have recently developed a love affair with a company called Peace Tea.  For those of you who know me at all, this may seem a little hippie for me, but the fact is that I love iced tea, and these guys know how to do it.  It is almost exactly the same as Arizona Iced Tea, pretty much the only difference being that, while Arizona Teas use HFCS, Peace Teas are made with real sugar.  Boo yah.  Why am I shilling for Peace Tea on my story blog?  I wish I could say I’m getting an endorsement, but no.  I simply bring it up to let you all know that the convenience store across the street from my work just started carrying a new Peace Tea this week, the “Texas Style Sweet Tea,” and I’m so excited about it that I’m going to write a story about Texas.

If you think that introduction is disproportionately large when compared to the reasoning, just remember that everything is larger in Texas.

TEXAS TIMMY AND THE QUID PRO QUO

"I Don't Like Your Face!" art by Eric Jansen

Way down south where it’s hot and sticky

And tumbleweeds tumble the land

There lived a man who was mean and tricky

Who lived by the strength of his hand.

Texas Timmy they called this pest

For Timmy, indeed, was his name.

He lived in Texas, you may have guessed,

But Texas is not to blame

For the way that Timmy wound up, you see,

And that is the tale that I’ll tell.

You may not remember you heard it from me

But it’s probably just as well.

Now, Tim was like a train wreck

And every Friday night

He’d drink away his paycheck

And try to start a fight.

But, once upon a humid eve

As Timmy tied one on,

A stranger drank, then tried to leave

And just before he’d gone

He found a man was in his way,

A wall named Texas Tim

Who tried to make the stranger stay

But found the joke on him.

“I don’t like your face!” Tim cried,

Which made the stranger laugh.

And after a moment he calmly replied,

“You should see my other half.”

Of course ol’ Tim, he got confused

And then ol’ Tim got mean.

He’d never been easily amused,

And his intellect wasn’t too keen.

“I don’t know what you mean by that,”

Said Tim, “but you should know

I’m presently planning on pounding you flat.”

The stranger said, “quid pro quo.”

Tim got angry and shook his head.

“Stop using that fancy talk!

I’ll beat you within an inch of dead!”

The stranger said, “walk the walk.”

Tim screamed, “come on! Let’s go outside!

I’ll deal with your wise-crackin’ ways!”

The stranger said, “if it’s a matter of pride,

I’ll go anywhere he says.”

So out they went into the street

And everybody followed.

Tim saw just a man to beat,

Not pride there to be swallowed.

“Before I pound you just for sport,”

Tim said to make a scene,

“You seem a mouthy, egg-head sort.

What’s all that hogwash mean?”

The stranger sadly stared at Tim,

Then sadly shook his head.

No one knew what to make of him,

But this is what he said.

“When I say to ‘walk the walk,’

It means to follow through it.

You’re loud and brash with talking talk,

But don’t just say it; do it.

‘Quid pro quo’ is easier yet

And I’ll explain quite neatly.

It means I give as good as I get,

So careful how you treat me.”

Well, Tim had had enough by now

So he swung his mighty fist.

But the stranger ducked the blow somehow

And Texas Timmy missed.

The stranger then returned the swing

And rattled Timmy’s teeth.

A punch as hard as anything

Hit Tim’s jaw from beneath.

Well, Tim, he fell.  And Tim, he bled.

The stranger stood and waited

While Timmy sat and held his head

And acted addlepated.

After a moment, the stranger knelt down

And just before he went,

He said, “before I leave your town,

I’ll tell you what I meant

When I said you should see my other half.”

Then he whispered in Texas Tim’s ear,

“The story might not make you laugh,

But it’s one that I think you should hear.

I came to Texas in order to find

Someone to take home to my mother.

Someone that she’d once left behind;

My long lost baby brother.

She said his name was Timothy.

She said he’d grown up mean.

She said that she was trusting me

To tell her what I’d seen.

That’s why I came, and who I found

And now before I go

And leave you bleeding on the ground

There’s something you should know.

We could have been a family.

We could have had a ball.

But I’ll give you what you gave me,

And that’s no chance at all.”

And, just like that, the stranger left

Without a backward glance

And left ol’ Texas Tim bereft

Of any second chance.

So now if you see Tim drinking here

And ask him, “what do you know?”

He’ll buy you a drink and he’ll shed a tear

And he’ll just say “quid pro quo.”

THE END

Why that turned into a poem, I’m really not sure, except that when I came up with the first line, it sounded awful poetic and the rest just sort of followed suit.  Hope you enjoyed it!  It WAS the 100th Story of the Week, after all.  🙂

See you soon,

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on April 20, 2012 in Poetry

 

Story #9 is here (or, Pretend It’s Last thursday and Nothing Will Be Amiss)

Hey howdy hey, dear readers!  Obviously Saturday is not the new Thursday (as I postulated last week) because, if it was, this story would have been published last Saturday!  Well, anyway, if you go to this page in our Classics section, you will find the first ever SotWC Season Finale.  It’s like visiting a historical landmark without having to go anywhere!

See you soon,

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2012 in Announcements

 

Story #8, or “Is Saturday the New Thursday?”

Geez, it’s like I officially changed the publication date to Saturday.  But I haven’t, okay?  It’s just these darn play rehearsals on Thursday nights.  I get home and don’t remember a thing.  Well, I’m hoping to change that in the future and become more remember-ful on Thursday nights, doggonit.  But, until then, here’s this week’s Classic, all ready to be read and stuff.  It’s pretty silly.  Don’t mean to shock you or anything.

See you next week (hopefully Thursday night),

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2012 in Announcements

 

Story #7, or How We Dropped the Ball Again!

A word of explanation; I have recently been cast in a play that rehearses on Thursday nights, so when I finally got home from rehearsal this past Thursday, I was exhausted and went straight to bed, not realizing the consequences of my actions.  Not until late last night did I realize I had missed a publication day AGAIN.  Boo, me.

But, anyway, the story is up now and it’s kind of a milestone for several reasons which I have already outlined in the new introduction to the story.  So go read it here.  Between the new intro and the old story, this week’s entry is chock full of birthdays, history, family-friendly curse words, and lies about a true story.  What could be more exciting?

Love,

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2012 in Announcements

 

STORY #6, or Better Late Than Never!(?)

After a very long, very full weekend that started on Thursday (hence the lack of a post on Thursday), the newest “Classic” is up for your perusal.  Check it out here and be on the lookout for another “Classic” story this Thursday, a bonus story for March, since this month has five Thursdays!  We promise that one won’t be late!  🙂

See you soon,

the SotWC

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2012 in Uncategorized