So, what we have here is the original Season One finale. Back in 94-95 a “season” of the SotWC was a semester of college. When I left school between semesters, that was the “hiatus” between seasons. This, then, was the final story for the summer of 1994. With much (and by “much,” I mean “some”) ballyhoo in the introduction, we closed our first chapter.
As an added bonus, we’ve included a second email that we sent out to all the club members at the time outlining how we screwed up all our ballyhooing. Enjoy.
(For those of you keeping track, my “Quantum Leap” obsession rears it’s head again for the finale of the story.)
Date: Mon, 2 May 94 21:02:05 EDT
BRO-MAN’S STORY OF THE WEEK
Hey, there, campers. Oh, wait, you’re not campers. If you were camping, you probably wouldn’t have a computer along to read this with. Well, this is the ‘90’s, I guess I shouldn’t be presumptuous about that sort of thing. So, if any of you are out there camping, have fun, and I hope you brought bug spray.
Well, here we are at the SEASON FINALE of “The Story of the Week.” It’s an emotional time for all of us here at the club. Well, maybe it’s not just us. Maybe 8:04 is an emotional time for a lot of people.
This week’s story is a magical fantasy about dreams coming true. Not like realizing goals or anything. I means dreams literally coming true. Spooky, huh?
RICHARD AND BEN AND THE MONSTER
Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Richard. He was often asked to take care of his 3 year old brother, Ben, when their parents would go out at night. He resented this terribly, but he never said anything about it. Not that he thought it would be rude or anything, he just couldn’t talk.
One warm Thursday evening, Richard’s mother came into his room and, while putting on a pair of earrings, she said, “Richard, your father and I are going out tonight, will you look after Ben for us?
“ .” Richard replied.
His mother smiled. “Yes, that’s what I thought you’d say. Thank you so much, honey,” she said, and kissed him on the forehead. Just to clear things up, it’s not that she just assumed that he said “Yes,” Richard had developed a certain way of not saying anything that his family had come to understand, sort of like a sixth sense. It probably would have just been easier to learn sign language, but they never thought of that.
Ten minutes later, Richard watched out the window as his mother and father got in the car and drove away. Suddenly, he heard a noise behind him. He looked and saw Ben standing silhouetted in the doorway.
“Richie wants to . . . play? Wif Ben,” he said.
Richard looked at his brother for a moment, and then he walked over to him. “ .” he said.
“But, I don’t wanna go bed,” Ben replied.
“ ,” said Richard, a little more sternly, and pointed at the clock.
“Okay,” said Ben, and went to get in his pajamas. Richard went to his room and sat in the dark, thinking that his job for the night was completed. Oh, how wrong he was.
Half an hour later, Richard heard Ben yelling in his room. He ran in and turned on the light. Ben was standing on his bed looking at Richard with frightened eyes.
“ ?” Richard asked.
“Me had a bad dream,” Ben said.
“ ?” Richard asked, walking to his brother’s bedside.
“Dere was a big monster.” Ben said, sitting down.
Richard was curious. “ ?” he asked.
“Oh,” said Ben, pointing in the corner, “he looked like that.”
Richard turned around and saw a huge beast sitting in the corner, picking it’s nose. He jumped onto Ben’s bed and screamed (only it sounded like this “ !” of course.)
The monster looked up. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked.
“Well,” said Richard, “You frightened me just then, because I wasn’t expecting anything to be in the corner of my brother Ben’s room, much less a huge, disgusting monster, who was picking his nose, a subject that is not usually breached in polite conversation.”
Ben looked Richard in amazement.
Richard smacked his hand over his mouth.
The monster began to laugh. “Boy, you look funny like that,” he said, standing up.
“But, I can’t talk!” Richard said (after taking his hand off his mouth).
“Could’ve fooled me,” said the monster, and put out his hand. “Pleased to meet ya,” he said, “my name is Oregano.”
Richard shook the monster’s hand, and said, “Great Scott.”
“Nice to meet you, Scott,” said the monster and then offered his hand to Ben.
“Pleased to meet you, Oregano,” Ben said, “I’ve never met a monster quite as nice as you before, and it’s quite a pleasure.”
Richard spun around.
Ben fainted from shock.
“What’s going on?” Richard asked Oregano.
“Well,” Oregano said, “Ben was having a dream about me, and you both were in it. He woke up too soon, though, so I decided to come here and finish his dream for him. It was gonna have a happy ending anyway, so I figured no one would mind. In his dream, you both spoke fluently, so when I got here, you had to be able to do that for the dream to run it’s course.”
“Oh, okay,” said Richard, “that makes sense.”
“Yes, I thought so, too,” said Oregano (but he was just a dream, of course it made sense to him).
“So how did the dream end?” Richard asked.
“Well, I was about to kill Ben when all of a sudden you pulled a water gun out of your pants and shot me in the eyes, blinding me momentarily, giving Ben just enough time to use his laser blaster that was going to magically appear in his hands to shoot a laser up my nose and fry the part of my brain that wanted to kill him, so then we all would become friends and go to Disneyland together for a couple of days.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” said Richard.
Just then, Ben woke up.
“Did you hear that?” Richard asked.
“No,” said Ben, “but the funniest thing just happened. While I was passed out, I had a dream that we all got sucked back in time to the days of dinosaurs.”
“Even me?” asked Oregano.
“Yep,” said Ben, “but I woke up before the dream got over.”
“Uh-oh.” said Richard.
So they all got sucked into a space-time vortex and went back to the days of dinosaurs.
Needless to say, when Richard and Ben’s parents got home, they were very confused.
There had never been a space-time vortex in Ben’s room *before*.
Then, Sam Beckett leaped into a cornfield in Elkridge, Indiana. But, that’s another story.
Well, kids. There it was, the season finale. Not going out with much of a bang, but hey, nobody’s perfect. And there’s always exciting sequel potential.
So, what do you say? Do we get “renewed” for next season? We’ve never really asked for “viewer responses” before, but hey, the end of the season is a good time for an evaluation. You be the censors, the review board, the corporate big-wigs. do we get picked up again?
Anyway, we’ve had fun this season, hope you have too.
(Not that I have multiple personalities or anything, I just like to say “we.”)
In a lot more than 7,
* * * *
Subject: STORY CORRECTION
Date: Mon, 2 May 94 21:05:03 EDT
Hi. Apologies from the club. The subject line heading of this week’s story should read “RICHARD AND BEN AND THE MONSTER (story #9)”, not “hrf”. We at the club never do the subject heading first, since we don’t know what the title of the story is until we type it. I forgot to change the title heading this week, though. Oops. Some freakin’ season finale.