Well, this is fitting. It’s opening week of the play I’m in (“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.” I play The Huntsman and, yes, I think I am just as buff and handsome as Chris Hemsworth . . . totally), and I have no time for anything. In a coincidental turn of events, this week’s Classic is from a week when I was inundated with tests (ah, college…) and likewise had no time for anything. So, in a perfect reflection of the old me, we now present you with the shortest story of the week ever written. Enjoy.
Oh yeah, one more thing worth noting is the fact that this story originally came replete with “carrots” all up and down the side (indicating a forwarded email message). I have chosen to omit the carrots to keep it from looking to annoying, but have left the disclaimer about why they were there because I think it is funny, misspellings and all. Sorry to hold you up. Again, enjoy.
Subject: GERALD (story #14)
Date: Mon, 26 Sep 94 15:48:00 EDT
BRO-MAN’S STORY OF THE WEEK CLUB
Hey there, kids. Well, we here at the club happen to be monumentally busy this week, so the story’s gonna be real short. Sorry!
(ed. note: Well we here tyhe club were in such a frickin hurry that we sent this to a nonexistant address the first time, just to explain the carrots on the side of the screen, sowe’re giving it one more try, and it better work otherwise there’s no story this week, kiddies . . . Well, I guess that’s not too far from the truth in either case…)
THE STORY OF GERALD THE REALLY BORING GUY
Once upon a time, there was a man named Gerald Boggs, and nothing exciting ever happened to him. Honestly. Nothing exciting at all. Like this one day when . . . Well, nothing interesting happened. It was just like every other day of his life.
Pretty sad, huh?
See ya next week, when I don’t have so many tests!
Or when I’m not in a play!